


Never Stay Away From Me

by squishymochi (konekonyan)



Category: HIStory - 離我遠一點 | HIStory: Stay Away from Me (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 05:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19100209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konekonyan/pseuds/squishymochi
Summary: Feng He and Cheng Qing are now back together. As their relationship progresses, so do their challenges.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is like my mega OTP. :')
> 
> It will be a long story and I have no idea when I'll ever end it but I will never drop this project! If you view this on wattpad, I generally have more explanations but if there's anything unclear here, just drop me a note and I'll explain! :D

Feng He shuffled to the bed. In the sunshine-flooded room, the hushed padding of his feet was just another accent of white noise amidst the muffled sounds of the busy city.

 

'Cheng Qing, wake up. You’re going to be late for your shoot.'

 

Sitting down gingerly on the foot of the bed, Feng He stretched out to shake the unmoving lump gently. Cheng Qing muttered something unintelligible under his breath. Feng He huffed, knowing that it was probably a plea from the lazy bum for another 5 minutes. 'Well, there definitely can’t be another 5 minutes!' Feng He prodded Cheng Qing’s arm. On the third jab however, arms shot out like a lasso causing him to fall on the bed. Feng He was greeted with the face of a softly grinning Cheng Qing.

 

'Good morning,  _ darling, _ ' Cheng Qing whispered, arms tightening as he pecked Feng He’s cheek. 'Yesterday wasn’t enough, I bet, since you’re so insistent on waking me up today.' 

 

It amused Cheng Qing to no end to see Feng He’s blush bloom and intensify- cheeks, face, tips of his ears - under his gaze. Yesterday was one of the most memorable days of Cheng Qing’s life. He moved back in with his, well, lover now. Of course there had to be a celebration! Though nothing sexual, sadly. 

 

Feng He stuttered, 'You’re going to be late for your work!'

 

'Mm… I’m not late yet, surely I can be indulged with some hugs…?' murmured Cheng Qing into Feng He’s ear as his hands started roaming up and down Feng He’s sides and back. Each languid brush was a like a soft burst of wind to kindle. Feng He knew he was unable to resist Cheng Qing’s request. He relaxed his body in acquiescence. When had he ever been able to resist him? Right from the start of their meeting, at the staircase, he could only nod dumbly before being swarmed by those scary fans of his. At present, the roaming fingers kept going lower, flaming a fire in the receiver as those talented fingers danced like tongues of fire along the strip of skin exposed at the bottom of his rumpled shirt.

 

Feng He mentally slapped himself. 

 

'Cheng Qing!'

 

Said man sighed. Well, that’s his cue to get up. His beloved can be such a stickler for rules but that’s one of the things that make him, his one and only.

 

'Alright, I’m up, I’m up,' drawled Cheng Qing in surrender as he stretched his hands behind his back.  

 

\---- 

 

'Qing, I can't possibly let Tony take you away, ' Cheng Qing burst out, grabbing her hand. 

 

'Actually Tony and I-'

 

He grasped her neck, giving her a kiss. 

 

'Cut! That's a wrap for today. Good work everyone!'

 

Ruo Lan, the actress for Qing, beamed at Cheng Qing. 'He's definitely one of the most good looking ones I've ever worked with!' she thought to herself. 'How did I get so lucky?' 

 

Cheng Qing gave her a smile back. To him, she's alright. She hasn't tried to come on to him or anything. Sometimes colleagues are worse than rabid fans to him. You can run away from the rabid ones but there’s no way you can avoid your colleagues.

 

'Good work.'

'Mm, yes. Well, I'll see you tomorrow! Bye bye!'

 

And with that, she was gone. 

 

Cheng Qing’s brows furrowed. 'Women are just bizarre,' he thought. Though it was not a subject that he dwelled on for long because the scene earlier brought back a memory of a certain practice session he had with Feng He. Cheng Qing wondered if Feng He would be mad if he told him that he deliberately chose that scene. He chuckled. 

 

\----

 

It was well past 12am when Cheng Qing got back. The apartment they shared was dimly lit by the many decorations about the place. He always thought Feng He was pretty fastidious, obsessed with keeping everything neat and tidy. Perhaps even magical, at how he manages to study and keep the place clean. Perhaps he might be the god of cleaning himself! 

 

Well, the aforementioned God of cleaning was currently dozing off on the sofa. The corners of Cheng Qing’s mouth turned up at the sight. 'Despite how neat he is, he sleeps like a pig.' Most definitely this was a thought that wasn't uttered out loud. All of Feng He’s limbs were sprawled messily about the sofa like a boneless being. 

 

'Time to kiss the sleeping beauty awake.'

 

Cheng Qing crouched down beside the slumbering figure. He caressed Feng He’s face. 'How did I ever get so lucky?' He traced the sharp jawline of his beloved’s face. He leaned forward and pecked his forehead. He murmured, 'I'm warning you, if you don't wake up, I'll be attacking you now…' Still no response was elicited. 

 

A smirk was beginning to play out on Cheng Qing’s face. 'Oh, he's going to get it, all right.'

 

Thus the kiss attack started. From the forehead, top right cheek, top left cheek, bottom of both cheeks, nose, chin, lips… Cheng Qing was thorough in his quest to cover all ground. 

 

Meanwhile, Feng He was having the strangest dream of his life. He was adrift on a gentle sea, cocooned by a cool morning mist. Gradually, the white cotton candy-like threads of mist became thicker, like densely packed cotton and without warning - it started raining starfish.

 

At first, he was amused when the starfish clung to his forehead. But gradually, they started covering his entire face and he couldn't pry them off. Horrified, he began shouting for help; all the while trying to extract himself from those suckers. 

 

However, in the real world, Cheng Qing was enjoying himself. Though Feng He may be screaming in his dreamworld, his synapses were sluggish and in reality, he was moaning. One can hardly blame Cheng Qing for feeling as thrilled as he was now. He gave a few more brushing kisses on Feng He's lips, each subsequent one becoming longer and longer. 

 

'Heh, I am that great, aren't I,' thought Cheng Qing. 

 

Feng He’s eyes flew open. There was no denying that the combination of a bad dream, an up-close face and the post-nap haze just disconcerted him. With wide orbs, he pushed weakly at Cheng Qing.

  
Cheng Qing was surprised as well. His annoyance was gradually overruled by worry when he saw how scared Feng He was. 

 

'Hey, what's wrong?' he asked gently, stroking Feng He’s arm. 

 

Feng He hesitated. 

'That was such a stupid dream. Should I even tell him?' Feng He decided against it. 

 

'Ah, it's just a stupid dream, that's all,' he told Cheng Qing. Cheng Qing brows furrowed. 

 

'Well, okay, if you say so.'

 

'Anyway, let's eat. I made your favourite lu rou fan today.'

 

Cheng Qing wasn't entirely convinced. But his stomach was growling pretty loudly right now. So he smiled and plopped himself on the chair to eat with his beloved. 

 

\----

 

In the bathroom, the sound of brushing teeth echoed softly. Cheng Qing walked in and glued himself to Feng He's side. He enjoys moments like this. To him, there's nothing more joyous than the reassuring feeling that this person is there by his side.  Reaching out to grab the toothpaste, he just gave a grin to him. 

 

The domesticity of it all was comforting to the younger. The funny thing is how he felt so comforted by it. He was so used to being alone. When his mother died, his father had just turned to work. Cheng Qing never blamed him for what he did. It was disappointing, that is true but he knew just how much his dad loved his mom. His dad needed his time to grieve. Luckily, he learnt how to live without depending on others and he was happy that his dad sort of accepted his job as an idol. Though naturally, it came with the condition that he had to have a university degree. He supposes that it's a small trade-off for the ability to do what he's passionate about.

 

Perhaps that could also be the reason why Cheng Qing is, by nature, a very tactile person. Though he grew up independent, there was still a lack of a loving touch. It's not to say that he was unloved. It is just that his father was very traditional and it he could just get a 'not bad' out of his mouth, that was the highest praise he could give. As such, Cheng Qing loves to touch things to show his affection. He always felt that if he could touch it, it will always be there for him and it won't go away. It is, quite possibly a bad habit or a sign of emotional instability but it is a live and let live situation. 

 

One receiver of such emotions would be the one oblivious to Cheng Qing’s emotional flashback. 

 

'Eh, what are you doing?' Feng He was surprised by how Cheng Qing was clinging on to him. He wasn't startled by Cheng Qing but he was a little annoyed because he couldn't brush his teeth properly. Cheng Qing just gave him a cheeky smirk. Feng He’s irritated features softened. There really is no helping him when it comes to his… Lover? He still wasn't sure what to call Cheng Qing. Definitely the word ‘brother’ was out of the question. Well at least for now. Or rather, in private. 

 

\----

 

Between the gap of two curtains on the right of the bed, a slim rod of light needled through. The harsh light of the streetlamps, filtered by the organza curtains diffused throughout the room. The two men - oblivious to the world - curled up, facing each other. 

 

Nearly a whole day without his beloved (and just when they had just made up) made Cheng Qing’s heart ache maddeningly and he was plain exhausted from work. To be honest, Cheng Qing was rather sleepy.He'd like to think that upon seeing his beloved, he'll somehow regain his energy but alas, this is all just a product of fiction. 

 

Feng He was pillowed by Cheng Qing’s right arm, back blanketed by his splayed fingers; the other hand placed nonchalantly on his waist. Feng He alternated awkwardly between slow pats and caresses along Cheng Qing’s neck and chest, which caused Feng He to feel as though his chest was coated in a layer of thick warm honey. 

 

A realisation struck Cheng Qing. 

 

He uttered softly, 'Hey, so what were you dreaming of earlier?'

 

Luckily, Cheng Qing caught Feng He unguarded. 

 

'Hm, what? It was just starfish that wouldn't let go,' Feng He replied in a sleep-drenched voice. 

 

'So he thought my kisses were some sticky starfish? Humph, I'll show him! Well… Perhaps tomorrow…' That was Cheng Qing’s last thought before going to the land of dreams. His beloved joined him soon after; however his last thought was, 'I think I said something unneeded…' And with that, the couple still in the honeymoon phase slumbered.

 


	2. Chapter 2

'Hey, have you heard from Meng Meng?' queried Cheng Qing at breakfast.

 

'Oh, she told me that her fanfiction has an increased amount of views… Beyond that she told me some stuff about her fiction that went in one ear and out the other. Haha… But she seems to be having fun with her family in Alishan.'

 

Feng He lied. Well, not completely as the Alishan part is true. She asked him if she's going to be a mother-in-law and if the two of them have made up and had their first marriage night relations. There's no way he would ever tell Cheng Qing that! There's no telling what he would do. He told her they have both made up but he didn’t tell her about their relationship yet.

 

Come to think of it, does that mean they'll do it? What's gay sex going to be like? How do two guys do it? Feng He was in turmoil. He glanced at Cheng Qing who was happily eating the porridge he made. Each movement of his made each sinew of his biceps stand out in the sleeveless white shirt. Feng He can appreciate a man's muscular physique. It doesn't mean that you are gay. But on Cheng Qing... it's somehow more appealing. He can understand why he has so many fans. What's not to like about his toned arms, flat washboard abs and smooth skin? Sure he might also be rather spoilt, hopeless in house cleaning… but he is also kind and he cares about me.

 

'Oo…. I see. So what are your plans today?' 

 

‘Going to the school library to study since lectures are cancelled. Perhaps review my guitar playing. This time I’m taking someone’s advice to take a break,' he said, smiling wryly.

 

‘Aw, really? I’m so touched!' interjected Cheng Qing. He grasped Feng He's resting left hand and began to rub circles with his thumb on it. 

 

‘Feng He, I am sorry that I can't be home that often but the director said that we might be able to have a day off later this week if all goes according to schedule. Would you like to go out and do something?’ Cheng Qing felt bad for being unable to spend some time together. It had been so long since they spent a day together! 

 

Faced with such a direct statement and move, Feng He was slightly startled. It was as though Cheng Qing’s hand was creating sparks, and they travelled - in sharp short bursts - to Feng He's chest. 

 

‘Un, sure.’ Feng He was a little tongue tied. He felt as though he was in a clichéd drama, where he is a lovestruck teen facing the first crush of his life.  _ ‘Which definitely isn’t. Stop thinking about it!’  _

 

‘Great!’ Cheng Qing never stopped smiling for the rest of breakfast. 

 

\----

 

The week just rushed by. Soon it became nearly 2 weeks. Feng He kept himself occupied with studies, his guitar and played basketball with his regular group of friends at the court near his house.  A healthy body is a healthy mind, after all. He hadn't forgotten Cheng Qing’s promise though. He did miss Cheng Qing dearly and with his schedule being more packed due to the need to complete the series in time for the opening, they saw very little of each other. Most of the time they met briefly during breakfast before Cheng Qing’s work. Usually Feng He drove him to his sets. They would hold hands as they travelled to the place. Sometimes they chatted, sometimes it was just a comfortable silence. Feng He couldn't be happier. These days are like little gems sewn in the fabric of life. Alone they are beautiful; together, when they form a pattern, it is unearthly in its splendour. 

 

Suffice to say though, he was surprised to come back from basketball to see Cheng Qing recumbent on the couch.

 

‘Ah, you're home early.’

 

Quick as a flash, Cheng Qing was enveloping his arms around his beloved. 

 

‘Wei, I'm sweaty.’

 

‘Mm, no matter. You still smell good,’ said Cheng Qing while burying his head at the juncture of Feng He's neck. He discreetly sniffed the juncture of Feng He's neck. The heady, musky aroma of pheromones, sweat and a scent that was most undeniably  _ FengHeminemine _ was being emitted; all Cheng Qing wanted to do was to lick that very spot and hold Feng He tighter. The smell was intoxicating and its nimble fingers was seemingly grasping over Cheng Qing’s senses. 

 

Unbeknownst to Cheng Qing, his ‘discreet’ attempts were noticed by a confused, aroused and slightly disgusted - because of his sweat - Feng He. Though the disgusted feeling was ameliorated by Cheng Qing’s arms; which were, not only holding him closer and tighter; but also were pulling him flush against Cheng Qing… beginning to rub-caress-rub his sides up and down. They began descending, each stroke pulling his shirt up. The small huffs and puffs of breath at his neck amplified his desires at least ten-fold; to the point that when Cheng Qing’s fingers touched the bare skin covering his ribs, it was pure electric. 

 

Feng He was panting. Each squeeze of Cheng Qing’s was giving rise to a new wave of burgeoning arousal. However when he felt something soft and wet on his neck just teasing in small short stripes, the waves just crashed down and he let out a short moan. His arms wound themselves behind Cheng Qing and his fingers scrabbled to find an anchor in this sea of confusing feelings. 

 

Cheng Qing could no longer contain himself. The unconscious licks he had been giving Feng He fed him an ambrosia - giving rise to a dark desire he never knew he was capable of. But the desperate fingers on his back coupled with the pants of breath amplified by that sweet  _ sweet _ moan had became a maddening elixir. He bit down. 

 

Hard. 

 

That was enough to jolt Feng He to see stars. His mind blissfully whited out and all that was threading him back to reality was the pleasurable pain on his neck. When he came down from his high, embarrassment crept in. He struggled in Cheng Qing’s embrace. Dazed, Cheng Qing let him go.

 

‘I’m… I’m… I… I’m going to take a shower!’ stammered Feng He as he stumbled his way to the bathroom.

 

Cheng Qing licked his lips and thought to himself ‘Oh, this is going to be fun…’ 

 

\----

 

In Feng He's haste, he forgot to take his clothes to the bathroom with him. He was flush with both shame and arousal as he realised he needed to use the towel to get his clothes. Which equals being semi-naked around Cheng Qing. Feng He was mortified. 

 

‘How could I lose control like that?’ He buried his head in his hands . Once he glanced up; staring at the mirror, adding to his chagrin, was a mark that resembled a kiss from someone with very pink lipstick on his neck. 

 

Cheng Qing, who was pouring himself some juice, spilt some at the unearthly squeal coming from the bathroom. 

 

‘Cheng Qing!!! Look here, look at what you did!’

 

A dishevelled Feng He wearing nothing more than a towel was stomping towards him. Cheng Qing was both terrified and turned on at the sight. 

 

‘Cheng Qing you idiot! Look here, see this! How am I going to go out of the house?’ said Feng He, viciously pointing to his neck. 

 

‘Eh… ehehe… sorry?’ said Cheng Qing meekly, hiding behind his two-finger salute. 

 

‘Sorry isn't going to cut it! What do I do with this? 

 

Truth to be told, Cheng Qing was actually enjoying the sight. His eyes drank in the sight of the reddish-pink bruise. He was pleased. It looked like a fresh bud, young and tempting, full of promise to bloom. 

 

‘And people will know he’s mine,’ thought Cheng Qing to himself. 

 

‘Baby, I'm sorry… I'll help cover it OK. I have some makeup with me.’

 

Cheng Qing wasn't fond of the idea of having to cover up his mark. But his beloved was angry and as much as he would like the mark to show, he did promise his beloved that they'd go out. 

 

Being called ‘baby’ made Feng He blush. He is the older one, damn it! Even if it is by a few months! What's with this mushy nickname for him? 

 

‘Ei, I'm no baby, damn it! Let me tell you, this thing - Aiya!’ Feng He accidentally jabbed himself on the tender spot. 

 

‘You better make it disappear completely!’

 

\---

 

‘So… Where would you like to go?’ said Cheng Qing as he dabbed concealer on the mark. 

 

‘What about that place we saw some time back? To- Totto Ramen?’ replied a wincing Feng He.

 

‘Oh yeah, that does sound good! In this weather, a bowl of warm soup would be good. Plus I heard that even though the soup base is chicken, it's still pretty tasty. Oh- and I’m done.’

 

Feng He inspected Cheng Qing’s handiwork in the freestanding mirror. It was actually pretty good and the colour was nearly completely gone. 

 

‘Wow, that’s not bad.’

 

Cheng Qing preened to himself. He slid his hand into Feng He’s left.

 

Nudging Feng He with his shoulder, Cheng Qing murmured in Feng He's ear, ‘Hey, we’re a pretty good looking couple, aren’t we?’ 

 

Feng He's heart skipped a beat. 

\---

Streetlights shone like spotlights on the way to Totto Ramen. From the car park nearby, their shoulders brushed each other with every step. The squeezy crowded store of Totto Ramen was shining out like a beacon, calling their name in this wintry night. 

As expected, there was a queue but luckily the waiting list was rather short. The savoury smell of broth teased their senses as they were ushered to a booth next to the wall. It felt extra squeezy as people shuffled about in their winter wear. The two of them settled at their table with knees breezing past each other every so often in the small area. Feng He wondered when it was that he was so aware of Cheng Qing’s presence. It’s just a normal occurrence but maybe, maybe because it was Cheng Qing, he felt as though his senses were like spies, hyper-aware of everything that the target does.

As they both tucked into their chicken paitan and spicy paitan, Feng He learnt Cheng Qing was asked again to act in the movie he liked. It was a wuxia show based of Pu Songling’s  _ Liaozai Zhiyi.  _ Filming was to take place near the end of next year so Cheng Qing had some time to think about joining the cast. Feng He supported Cheng Qing wholeheartedly. 

‘Actually I'm quite worried about the state of classes and exams if I were to accept this script. Filming will take place in various parts of Beijing and its surrounding areas and it means I’ll be travelling rather frequently. I may only get leave to attend the exams, so I don’t know… I may just reject it’ said Cheng Qing while slurping on his noodles.

‘But really, isn’t that the chance of a lifetime?’ said Feng He. ‘You did say that the script was interesting and the production team seems good, so why not?’

‘I don’t think I have the confidence to do long distance school work and still be able to pass the exams. Besides you have been been the main motivator to study and you helped me a lot in passing my exams,’ sighed Cheng Qing. In a lower voice, he added, ‘Plus, that also means that I’d be away from you too.’

A heat started to rise from Feng He’s chest upon hearing that. ‘Cheng Qing is far too sweet with his words,’ he thought.

\--------------

‘Ah, that was incredibly satisfying!’ sighed a happy Cheng Qing as he flopped down on the sofa.

‘Indeed. Nothing like a good bowl of warm soupy goodness!’ Feng He stretched out on the sofa beside Cheng Qing.

‘Ei, teach me a song on the guitar,’ said Cheng Qing. 

‘You haven't even mastered the last one I taught you!’

‘Well, that is that…. But perhaps a different style will make me want to practice more?’

‘You are so wu liao.’

‘Ah, but come on, I'm your cute beloved… Come on….’ Sensing an opportunity, Cheng Qing caged Feng He’s waist with his arms. Glancing above, he gave what he deemed was his most puppy-dog-like face.

Assaulted with those big round eyes, Feng He could feel his resolve cracking. 

‘Fine, fine…But only after you shower! You smell like ramen.’

Cheng Qing took a deep whiff at the exact same spot he bit Feng He. 

‘So do you.’

\---

Freshly showered, Cheng Qing took his seat beside Feng He. 

‘Hey what about that  _ Qing Fei de Yi _ song? One of the people in my production team was working in Meteor Garden and he mentioned that the song was pretty easy to play on the guitar.’

‘Wow that song… It really brings back memories. Mom used to love watching reruns of that show. It always took over my pokemon shows. But yeah, it is sort of easy to play.

Let's star-’

‘Wait, you actually had a life besides studying when you're younger? Wow!’

‘...’

‘Eh, come back! Are you mad? Eh!’

Cheng Qing shuffled off after Feng He who was pretending to sleep on the bed. 

‘Eh, are you mad at me?’ 

Cheng Qing poked Feng He's nose. It made a slight wriggle. 

‘I know you're lying. Come on… or I shall start my special attack!’ 

Feng He did not move a muscle. 

‘Well, don't blame me then!’

Agile fingers then jabbed their way all around Feng He's body. Cheng Qing could see that Feng He was biting his lips, trying to keep himself from bursting out into laughter. 

‘Oh no, you don't!’ he thought. 

The fingers squirmed all around Feng He, merciless in their path of conquest. Finally Feng He burst out in gasping giggles. 

‘Please, please, no more! I can't take it!’ said a near-sobbing Feng He. 

‘So you'll teach me now?’

‘OK , okay! I promise I will!’

‘Really? Swear you will?’

‘YES! I swear! Please stop!’

Cheng Qing reluctantly retracted his fingers. 

‘And now, revenge!’ cried Feng He. 

The two tussled and wrestled on the bed. Cheng Qing was surprised to find that he had some difficulty in trying to pin Feng He down. Feng He was full of surprisingly wily tricks and lean strength so much so that Cheng Qing (though he will never admit it) found himself panting to keep up. 

After some time, Cheng Qing finally found an opening, hooked a leg around Feng He and with all his strength, flipped him around and pinned him. 

Panting, Cheng Qing stared at Feng He from above.

‘I win.’

Feng He’s eyes seemed to shine gloriously with indignation to Cheng Qing. He was enjoying how Feng He was struggling to get rid of his hands which were currently pinning  his wrists. Not to mention all the thrusts Feng He was doing to move him from where he was in between Feng He’s thighs. His gaze upon Feng He's reddened face seemingly burnt a path to the darkening bruise on his neck. Pressing himself fully against Feng He, he relished in the fact that when he did that, Feng He drew a sudden deep breath. 

‘Hey, I'm going to kiss you now.’

He didn't bother waiting for an answer as he claimed his victory. His lips met Feng He's firmly. Alternating between hard kisses and soft, fleeting brushes of the lips, Cheng Qing was determined to make Feng He surrender completely. 

Seeing that Feng He remained stoic, he began pressing butterfly kisses down his jaw, to the very red spot that was his brand. Lewdly, he licked a long hard stripe up Feng He's neck. 

‘Ah!’ gasped Feng He. 

Blood roared in Cheng Qing’s ears. The gasp felt like a douse of fuel to embers. Each nerve ignited, he went back to catch more moans of his beloved. 

Clenching his fingers in his beloved’s hair, Cheng Qing was absolutely taken with his reaction. He continued to press his lips against his beloved, only to be frustrated when the lips beneath his refused to part. Casting a glance to his beloved, Feng He's eyes were smirking at him. Cheng Qing was rather annoyed. He brushed against the spot again, hoping that it'll be his trump card… And  _ yes! Finally.  _

Cheng Qing took advantage of Feng He's gasp to plunder the cavern inside. He explored every nook and cranny of Feng He, attempting to commit them to memory. Most importantly he wanted Feng He to continue the muffled groans and moans that strummed up feelings from deep in him. He could feel Feng He's tongue responding, tangling and flirting clumsily with his; his fingers clawing bluntly at his back and waist and  _ oh,  _ that sinful arch of his body that seemed to want to glue both of them together. 

Time melted into nonexistence. Cheng Qing was so lost in the sensation. 

When both of them stopped to catch their breath, Cheng Qing marvelled at how seductive Feng He looked - all bright-eyed with gasping, swollen red lips and a flush that extended below his neck. He loves him, through and through. From the way he nags at him to get up in the morning, to the way he makes sure he eats properly, the way he’s still so shy with every kiss to how sexy he is when he’s topless, it's everything … he loves him. And he will go to the moon and back if that’s what that is required for them to be together. 

‘I love you.’ 

Feng He fought to get back his breath when he heard that. It felt as though he had been suffocating in a warm pot of sweetness. Cheng Qing had pried open, explored and brought out so many erogenous spots that he never knew existed. He felt boneless, like a lump of clay moulded into whatever Cheng Qing desired. The heat between them was overwhelming and he longed to be buried in the fresh scent of body wash and  _ Cheng Qing _ , to taste the clean mint of his mouth and something deeper that was most probably only and uniquely  _ him.  _ But Cheng Qing, Cheng Qing was pulling away. 

_ ‘No, don't go. Don't!’  _

With that single thought in mind, Feng He pulled Cheng Qing down, meeting their lips again. Cheng Qing stiffened, gave a surprised sound but then relaxed in Feng He's embrace. Sliding his thighs above Cheng Qing’s hips, Feng He nudged Cheng Qing on his side without breaking their contact. Eventually, Feng He straddled Cheng Qing, both resuming the exploration of each other's mouths, Cheng Qing occasionally breaking it to mouth and nibble at Feng He's neck and exposed chest. 

Feng He was delirious with the sensations that played like a continuous glissando going up and down. It can’t be helped that this feeling was like a joyous race between his body and mind as he hadn’t had much experience with intimacy. Cheng Qing’s fingers caressed him ever so firmly and his touches flamed his very being. His body seemed to sing when Cheng Qing’s fingers ghosted along his skin and plied him to a sitting position. 

Cheng Qing propped himself on the headboard. 

Brushing Feng He's bare waist, he stumbled over his words as he said, ‘Feng He… I want… I want… Um, can I take your shirt off?’

Feng He bit his lip before nodding.

Cheng Qing felt as though he was gleefully unwrapping a present. Inch after inch of pale-honey skin revealed before his eyes as he peeled the sleeveless shirt off. When two dusky nipples met his eyes, he felt  as though he had to exert all control to hold in what he really wanted to do. ‘ _ Breathe in, breathe out. Gods I just want to worship him!’  _

Feng H _ e  _ trembled ever so slightly under the weight of Cheng Qing’s gaze. It was hot, suffocating and it should be  _ normal, isn't it?  _ ‘Guys are always shirtless around each other anyway, so why is this so different?’ thought Feng He. 

Fixing his sight on Cheng Qing, he stammered, ‘What… what are you looking at?’

‘You. You are beautiful,’ replied Cheng Qing without faltering. 

_ ‘Heavens! If only the earth can come and swallow me whole,’ _ thought Feng He as he looked up. 

Meanwhile, Cheng Qing looked on hungrily at the blush that seemed to spread and darken over his beloved’s body. He couldn't help but rake his fingers over the border of the rapidly spreading blush. He mapped its spread, never taking his eyes off Feng He's expression. Spreading his fingers, he could feel the involuntary fluttering of abdominal muscles which serves as an echo to the sweet panting noises Feng He made. He loved the way Feng He scrunched up his eyes, how his fingers fumbled on his chest - he just wanted to make his beloved feel good. And these reactions were his rewards. 

On the other hand, Feng He was awash in ecstasy. If he had thought that Cheng Qing’s fingers were burning before, they were positively searing now. 

‘GODS!’ Feng He nearly choked. 

Cheng Qing had just licked his left nipple. 

‘CHE- … CHENG QING!’ 

However any protest at the tip of his tongue soon died. It seems as though a beast had awakened within Cheng Qing. The few languid licks soon turned into vigorous tongue flicks reducing Feng He into an incoherent babble. The only thing he could fathom right now was that whatever Cheng Qing was doing, he wanted it to continue. Never had he thought that a man's nipple could be this sensitive. He heard moans of a most embarrassing nature filling the room and to his horror, the most pornographic sounds were actually coming from him. He briefly thought of halting it but his brain was short circuited again by Cheng Qing; who was now tweaking and pinching playfully with his other nipple. 

Cheng Qing was satisfied with his handiwork. Twin puffed nipples were staring back at him, one glistening from his tongue. His beloved was grinding his crotch into his. Which made Cheng Qing feel pleased with himself at being able to make his beloved feel this way. Latching himself on the other nipple, he began suctioning and mouthing. He could feel his beloved starting to slump so he used an arm to support and gently laid him down on the bed. This time he didn’t hold back in sucking and tonguing, teasing the very tip of the crinkled tight bud before engulfing it. Cheng Qing held Feng He firmly in the hollows of his hip bone, fingers near-bruising the skin to hold still a writhing Feng He as he laved more attention on his chest. 

‘Have you ever did it before?’ 

‘Wha- what? Did what?’ 

Cheng Qing stared deep into Feng He’s eyes. He needed to know. Even though it’s a high chance that Feng He may be untouched, there might be a surprising answer. 

‘Making love.’

_ ‘Cheng Qing is going to be the death of me!’  _ thought Feng He, groaning and covering his eyes. 

‘Bao Er, it's important.’

‘It doesn't really matter, does it? We're already at this stage, why would it even matter?’ 

‘Feng He, look at me. I need to know that you want it right now. And we're not moving too fast.’

‘You've already sucked my chest, I think it's a bit too late, isn't it?’ Feng He was burning with embarrassment right now. 

_ ‘Well, what he said is true,’  _ thought Cheng Qing. ‘Feng He, just… Yes or no?’

‘... No.’

‘No… what?’ queried Cheng Qing, trying to confirm. 

‘I've never had sex before!’ muttered Feng He hastily, attempting to bury himself in the crook of Cheng Qing’s shoulder. 

Cheng Qing felt a slight tinge of triumph upon hearing that. He'll make Feng He his, wholly and completely. He'll be the first to touch Feng He and the last. Feng He will want for nothing. Sliding his arms around Feng He, he turned around to kiss him.

A shrill ringtone punctured the air, causing the tense atmosphere to disappear slightly. Feng He's eyes widened. 

‘It's my mom.’

\----


	3. Chapter 3

‘Mm, yes. My holidays are fine... Yes, I have enough money... Cheng Qing got through the last semester. Yes, we are eating well. What? Eh… really? Ehh….’

 

Cheng Qing strained his ears to hear the conversation. Too bad Feng He was pacing about in the middle of the room. Well, he wouldn't complain anyway. Feng He looked utterly ravishing, all ruffled like that. Not to mention - that love bite. Heh.  _ ‘Feng He is mine,’ _ he thought. Feng He really looked more handsome with his grown out hair. It made him look younger. Plus it is rather nice to have some hair to ruffle and run through his fingers. 

 

‘You want to speak to Cheng Qing? En, ok.’

 

Feng He held out the phone to Cheng Qing. Cheng Qing took it gingerly, a sudden fear striking his heart. 

 

‘Hello?’

 

\----

Feng He looked on anxiously. 

 

‘What are they talking about? How can Cheng Qing remain so calm? Has she told him that yet?’

 

Seated on the bed, both realised that the sexually tense atmosphere had dissipated into a more nervous  sort of tenseness. 

 

‘Mm, yes. Mom, don't worry. I will do my best to take care of Feng He.’

 

_ ‘What? Take care of me? Have you forgotten what you told your own son?’  _ thought a rather disgruntled Feng He. 

 

‘What? Oh - really? I see… Sure. Ok. Oh ok, let me talk to him then. Mm, hi dad… good. Good... I got through the first half of the semester... How's the honeymoon? Still filming... OK. Bye.’

 

They both stared at each other for a moment. 

 

‘So…’ they both began. 

 

‘Mom told you right? Or was it your dad?’ rushed Feng He. 

 

‘Dad did. Assuming that we both are talking about the same topic.’

 

‘Well… This is unexpected.’

 

‘Hey, we have to face it sooner or later. Luckily it's only one meeting for now. 

 

Don't worry, I'll be there with you,’ said Cheng Qing, grasping Feng He's hands in his. ‘After all, I have to meet Mom and take responsibility for defiling you!’

 

‘CHENG QING!’

 

\----

 

‘So we are supposed to meet them at Shin Yeh at 2 pm, isn't it?’ yawned Cheng Qing. 

 

‘Yeah. The one at Zhong Xiao. They have an 8 pm night flight to Bali,’ replied Feng He, unpacking breakfast. 

 

‘Wahhh… I wish I had that life too. Going everywhere on a holiday…’ Cheng Qing threw a suggestive look at Feng He. ‘What about we two go on a honeymoon one day?’

‘Are you crazy? We are going to see our parents and.. and you can still joke around?’ The stress he was carrying for the past few days begun to show in his voice. ‘We are meeting our parents, who are married, as  _ brothers _ ! I can't imagine facing your father and tell him  _ hi, I'm your stepson and I'm together with your son _ ! What sort of impression will I even make? I even have that mark made by you still! And it's so purple right now! Am I going to say it’s an insect bite? Not to mention, how can I lie to my mom? She can see right through me!’ 

 

‘Bao bei, we don't have to say anything. Leave it to me, ok? It won't be a problem,’ coaxed Cheng Qing, rubbing the forearms of his beloved slowly.  

 

Feng He looked at Cheng Qing and inhaled deeply. Really, when he looked at Cheng Qing’s sincere eyes, he did feel more reassured . Feng He might no longer care about the fact that he was brothers with Cheng Qing by law but there were their parents to consider. As the only child from each parent, there's no doubt that they both felt a certain amount of expectations from them. Feng He dared not to think what would happen if his and Cheng Qing’s relationship was found out and wasn't given their blessing. 

 

Feng He was startled from his reverie by Cheng Qing’s hug. 

 

‘Bao bei, it'll be alright.’

 

Feng He would be lying if he said that he didn't soften at that. He melted in Cheng Qing’s arms, and tried his best not to snuggle.  _ Men do not snuggle, damn it.  _ But, surrounded by the smell of Cheng Qing, he felt at peace. There could be a raging typhoon outside, but all that mattered was here and now. 

 

‘Feeling better?’ 

 

Feng He nodded. ‘En.’

 

‘Come, let's get ready.’

 

\----

 

Wringing his fingers, whatever courage Feng He got earlier disappeared slightly. He stared at the Rolexes on display below Shin Yeh, as though they were some kind of gods that can grant him favours.

 

Cheng Qing couldn't bear to see his beloved in such distress. He even put on a brown turtleneck on Feng He to cover the purpling bruise. Truthfully, Cheng Qing was slightly nervous as well. He had only seen Feng He's mom once and that's where he got the house keys. Their parents got married so fast. If he weren't the son, he might have lectured his father. Well, nevertheless his dad seemed happy. That was the only thing that mattered. 

 

He recalls Feng He's mom as an elegant looking lady, though slightly scatterbrained. They only visited him momentarily, during one of his work breaks. It was her who brought up the idea of him staying with Feng He. At that time, his lease was expiring and his father was complaining about his exorbitant rent and terrible grades. He remembered mentioning that he could pay it himself but the old man’s ego would not allow him to do so. Luckily he didn’t anyway. Otherwise he would never have really got to know Feng He.

 

Both parents decided to let their sons live together as a way of cutting cost and also to let them bond. Feng He's mom added that her son was quite a smart person and she'll make sure her son guides him. Before he could even pitch in his say, he was left gaping with a set of keys in his hand and a text with an address; waving goodbye to his dad and new mom who were going round Europe. 

 

Well, now is not a time for recollection. 

 

‘Ready, Feng He?’ said Cheng Qing, slinging his arm around Feng He's shoulders. 

 

Feng He took a deep breath. ‘Yeah.’

 

\----

 

Located on the first floor of the building, Shin Yeh was warm and abuzz with lively chatter. 

 

‘Feng He!’ the distinguishable mellow tone of his mother raised above the din. 

 

Feng He and Cheng Qing made their way to the table beside the window.

 

‘Dad, Mom’ said Cheng Qing, acknowledging both parents.

‘Aiya, my boys, have you eaten? Your dad and I really miss Taiwanese food so we ordered a lot. Eat a lot, ok!’

‘Yes, mom,’ sighed Feng He in resignation. 'Hello mom, hello Dad.’

‘So how are you two doing? Sorry that I gave so little notice about your living conditions but from the last phone call it seems to be working out well. Congratulations, Cheng Qing! I see my son has given you some good influence!’

‘Thanks, Mom,’ Cheng Qing said respectfully while pouring the tea for everyone. ‘Feng He has been very good to me.’

‘Oh my, you're still so polite! No need to be like that, we're now family, after all.’

They paused talking for a moment as the dishes arrived.

‘Yes, Feng He, congratulations on your results,’ remarked the quiet man beside her. ‘I’m happy to see both of you getting along fine. Thank you for taking care of my son. He may be a bit of a bully at first but he can be nice. If he mistreats you let me know!’

‘Oh, he didn’t. Well, then, please eat, Dad,’ said Feng He in what he hoped was a happy tone. A guilty feeling had started creeping into his heart. Both their parents only wanted something simple : a happy family. Yet his relationship with Cheng Qing was definitely adding a whole new level of complexity to their new family. 

 

Deftly grabbing one of the fried oysters and dusting it in the salt and pepper dip, Feng He's mother casually asked, ‘So how's your guitar playing? Do you play the guitar too, Cheng Qing?’

 

‘Ah, yes, I've been picking it up cause Feng He has been teaching me.’

 

‘Really? Eh, baobei, teach him my favourite song! Then maybe you can duet!’

 

Feng He nearly choked on his sweet potato porridge and egg with preserved vegetables. He sure did remember the last time he taught Cheng Qing guitar. There wasn't any guitar involved. For two days he wallowed in shame at his loss of self-control. Plus, the idea of meeting their parents so soon kept churning in his mind. As much as he liked Cheng Qing, Feng He didn't feel ready to announce it to the world.

 

Cheng Qing also stiffened slightly. He nearly dropped the piece of pork roll he was holding as he too, recalled the last guitar ‘practice’. Luckily for him however, this is where his skill as an actor came into play. After that hot,  _ hot,  _ _ interrupted _ _ sultry night _ , Feng He was too caught up in his anxiety. Of course despite Cheng Qing’s main concern to ease his beloved’s fears, his libido had other ideas. After seeing his beloved’s unrestrained side, Cheng Qing’s imagination often ran wild. He shifted slightly to accommodate the uncomfortable feeling between his legs. 

 

‘What’s wrong, son? Stop moving your leg while eating,’ said their Dad. 

 

Cheng Qing felt as though spotlights were on him. And not in a good way either. ‘Since when did Dad have a sixth sense?’ he thought. 'Ok, Dad,’ he said meekly. 

 

‘So son, tell us what you two have been up to lately,’ said their Dad.

 

Without batting an eye, Cheng Qing answered, ‘Well, most of the time I’m at work. After all, we need to make it in time before mid-spring so that we can meet our release date.’

 

‘Oh. That's good. Well, don't forget your health. You may be young but you still need to ensure that your body is always well taken care of.’

 

‘Yes, Dad.’

 

‘Do you two manage to spend any time together?’

 

‘Not really.’ ‘Yes.’

 

Both Feng He's and Cheng Qing’s voice sounded out at the same time. They gave each other a look of horror. 

 

Both stared at each other, wishing that they were telepathic so that they could ask the other just one question: ‘WHY?’

 

‘Oh? Why the different answers, son?’ said their Mom. 

 

‘Well, I mean that with Cheng Qing always working, we aren’t around each other very often,’ said Feng He, who was breaking out in a cold sweat.

 

‘Yeah, but sometimes we do go out together when I’m off,’ said Cheng Qing, forcing a smile out.

 

‘Oh…’ said their Mom. 

 

Both parents glanced at each other. 

 

‘Hey, honestly, are you two forcing yourselves to like each other for our sake?’ asked their Dad.

 

‘Dad, where do you get that idea? You know if I don’t like something I’ll avoid it completely,’ uttered Cheng Qing.

 

‘Yeah, don’t worry Dad, Cheng Qing and I may have our differences but who doesn’t? I like him - as my brother,’ blurted Feng He. He prayed that his tiny slip-up won’t be noticed by their Dad.

 

Both parents exchanged worried looks. ‘Well sons, I think that I speak on behalf of your Mom as well when I say this. We hope only for the best for the two of you. If there’s any problems, don’t hesitate to come to us, alright? We are now a family and your mom and I do hope that any misgivings will be discussed over.’

 

Both boys nodded in a near furious manner.

 

The rest of lunch proceeded rather smoothly. Both sons got a few eyefuls of their parents PDA. Their parents kept giving long sweet gazes and kept taking food for each other to the point that the two healthy boys lost a bit of their appetite. 

 

‘Eye-fucking.’ As how Cheng Qing so eloquently describes it to Feng He much later with a vulgar gesture.

 

By the end of the meal, both Cheng Qing and Feng He received miscellaneous souvenirs. English tea, Burberry trenchcoats of different lengths for both of them (which made their eyes bulge), skull keychains from Prague, several art pieces from Berlin and a host of other snacks. 

 

\----

 

After waving goodbye to their parents who promised to be back for Chinese New Year, the two decided to take a taxi back as the amount of stuff their parents gave them just made an MRT trip cumbersome. 

 

‘Well, it went sort of well, didn’t it?’ said Cheng Qing as they waited for the lift. 

 

‘Luckily it did. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.’ Feng He shuffled the packages in his hand trying to get the keys in his pocket. ‘Eh, can you use your keys? I can't seem to get to mine.’

 

‘Oh, sure, replied Cheng Qing. He searched about himself for a while. ‘I think I left my keys inside.’

 

‘Oh, just take it from me then.’

 

Cheng Qing put down his bags and slid his hand into Feng He’s right pocket. 

 

‘Yeah, got it.’

 

The two stumbled inside. 

 

‘I swear, earlier when Dad asked us if we spent time together and we gave different answers, I thought I was going to have a panic attack,’ said Feng He while putting away the snacks where they belong. ‘Now when I think about it, it was such a silly question to panic over.’

 

‘Yeah, it was…’ sighed Cheng Qing. ‘Here, let me help you out.’

 

‘Oh, it's ok.’ But Feng He let Cheng Qing help anyway. 

 

Feng He put away the last packet of snacks at the bottom of the cupboard. He stood up only to find Cheng Qing looming over him from behind. 

 

‘Hey, what are you doing?’ asked Feng He. 

 

Cheng Qing encircled his arms around Feng He's waist, leaning forward. 

 

‘Baby, how are you feeling now?’ murmured Cheng Qing. 

 

Feng He leant back, resting his arms on top of Cheng Qing’s. While the experience wasn't as harrowing as he thought, Cheng Qing’s arms are always a cocoon of warmth. ‘I'm no baby, but…  I'm feeling alright,’ he answered. ‘Much better now, I think.’

 

‘That's good to hear,’ uttered Cheng Qing, nuzzling into Feng He's temple. A relief washed over him. One minor hurdle is over. For now at least. 

 

‘Have I - ever - told you - how sexy - you- are?’ asked Cheng Qing, punctuating his speech with kisses on Feng He's turtleneck, ending with a slightly lingering one at the skin on edge of the sweater. 

 

Feng He's pulse started racing. Involuntarily he clutched Cheng Qing’s hands tighter. 

 

A small, secretive smile crept on Cheng Qing’s face. 

 

Strolling away, Cheng Qing casually suggested, ‘Wanna go karaoke tomorrow?’


	4. Chapter 4

Feng He was… 

 

A karaoke monster. 

 

‘Ah He! Come! Let's sing our favourite!’

 

Jumping around happily in the dimly lit room, she pulled Feng He who was as equally excited as her to sing Mayday’s ‘Party Animal’. ( 派對動物 - 五月天 Pai Dui Dong Wu - Wu Yue Tian) 

  
  


Looking at the two silhouettes bobbing up and down, Cheng Qing chuckled. They looked like hyper chipmunks - and sounded like that too. 

 

As the song changed to the more mellow tones of Jay Chou’s ‘Handwritten Past’ ( 手寫的從前 - 周杰倫  Shou Xie de Cong Qian - Zhou Jie Lun), the two were pleasantly surprised with Cheng Qing’s voice.

 

‘Wah, you're really good, Cheng Qing!’ said Meng Meng. 

 

‘Yeah! It’s quite unexpected that such a brat has such a voice,’ said Feng He.

 

Cheng Qing gave a glare at Feng He. ‘What did you say?’ 

 

‘Well…’ drawled Feng He, stretching one of his arms around Cheng Qing’s shoulders, ‘You, as the younger can never compete with the older.’ Feng He ruffled Cheng Qing’s hair for emphasis.

 

‘ 他媽的 .’ 

 

Meng Meng looked on in amusement. Visions of that action repeated in her head, albeit with a few amended details of course. This time, in her mind, Feng He was ruffling through Cheng Qing’s hair in the same manner; Cheng Qing having a determined gaze for punishment as he looked deep into Feng He’s eyes. When, suddenly, Cheng Qing slams his palms on the sofa, pinning Feng He with his hot gaze that can melt steel… with a hot kiss that leads to more x-rated stuff… Now that’s a kabedon worth mentioning!

 

Feng He looked at the near-drooling Meng Meng in a resigned manner. ‘She’s having nonsense on her mind again,’ he said in a low voice to Cheng Qing.

 

‘Shall we do some fanservice?’ whispered Cheng Qing, moving closer with a glint in his eyes.

 

‘You’re nuts.’ Saying thus, he kicked Meng Meng’s leg lightly.

 

‘Oi!’

 

\---

‘Aw, that was the last of our minutes. Shall we extend?’

‘Nah, I can't, Meng Meng. The day after tomorrow I have to perform for the show’s special episode. My manager will kill me if he finds out.’

‘Aww, well, can’t be helped then.’

The pleasantly cold air greeting them was refreshing after the stuffy heat of the room. Taipei was brimming with neon Christmas lights of various hues spilling on the streets. Glittering baubles seemed to compete with each other, as if daring the other to outshine them while a towering Christmas tree, complete with red trimmings stood guard in front of Sogo. 

‘Wah, I’m assaulted by Sauron’s eye,’ remarked Feng He, referring to Sogo’s logo. The other two laughed. ‘You’re such a geek,’ said Cheng Qing, slapping Feng He’s shoulder.

‘... You can walk home on your own,’ 

‘Eh! Why are you so mad?’ laughed Cheng Qing and Meng Meng, chasing after Feng He. 

They ended up at the 7-11 next door because Meng Meng had to pick up some stuff for her mom. Cheng Qing and Feng He waited next to some aisles while Meng Meng paid.

Picking up a bottle of honey, Cheng Qing shot a look to Feng He, crooning softly, 

‘Sweet as honey, your smile is as sweet as honey, just like how flowers bloom in the spring breeze…’

All the while performing an exaggerated little dance like an overly enthusiastic honey salesman. 

It caught the attention of several girls who have begun whispering and pointing in their direction. 

Feng He's eyes shot wide open. He frantically tried to shush Cheng Qing. ‘You're so lame! And shh, be quiet! You might be identified!’ he hissed.

‘Ah! In my dreams!’ Cheng Qing continued, dramatically brandishing the bottle of honey. 

Feng He groaned. Some of the girls have already approached, asking Cheng Qing if he was really the Cheng Qing. He obliged with several photos and autographs, since there were only a few of them and plus, Feng He had a nagging glare that seemed to tell him to be nice. 

Watching Cheng Qing like this was really interesting. At least that's what Feng He thought. He smiles in such a charming manner, with a hint of aloofness that was enough to make him seem cool. ‘How can such a popular person even like me? If our parents didn’t get married, would we have still ended up together anyway?’ Those thoughts battled in Feng He's mind for a while. 

Meng Meng scrutinised Feng He thoughtfully. Even without her  _ fu nv  _ glasses on (well, as much as she tries anyway) it's great to see Ah He so happy. Sure, the emotion may not be blatantly painted on his face but she has known him for a long time. You didn't have to be a detective to figure out that they've probably made up since Cheng Qing had, after all, moved back. They must be having a happy life together! She was a bit puzzled though. There seemed to be a hint of bitterness in his expression and she couldn’t figure out what it was. ‘Cheng Qing is handsome, popular, good looking… plus he's so tall… A total top! What’s not to like? Ah He is adorable, kind of tsundere but a great loyal friend so I know he’d be loyal in his relationships too… Hm… I can’t seem to think of why he’s looking like this at Cheng Qing.’

One of the girls held Cheng Qing’s arm to take a photo. Feng He felt an odd twinge in his chest. On that spot, it felt like someone took a rubber band and started flicking it there. ‘That's funny…’ thought Feng He. He couldn't understand why he had it. Feeling for his pulse, it was still considered normal, so why did his chest have that funny feeling? 

A squeal broke out among the girls. One of them had managed to hug Cheng Qing and nearly pecked him on the cheek. 

\---

Cheng Qing did not see it coming. He jerked back just in time,feeling the ugly sear of annoyed anger flashing. Luckily he recollected himself in time. Thanking his fans, he said his goodbyes as quickly as he could and dragged Feng He and Meng Meng out.

\---

‘Are you okay?’ asked Feng He while waiting for the car. 

‘En. More or less.’

Cheng Qing really did lose his good mood. In all honesty he liked his fans, he really did. Without them, how could he even have an idol’s career? But sometimes, really, there has to be boundaries.

Finally the car arrived and off they went to send Meng Meng home. The mood in the car was so thick and silent as Cheng Qing’s dark clouds of brooding anger increased in number and intensity. 

Cheng Qing jerked at the vibration of his phone. Opening it, he saw that it was from Meng Meng. 

‘Eh, you're just right behind me, why do you need to text.’

‘Never mind, just answer my question!’ replied Meng Meng. 

Cheng Qing read it out loud. 

‘What colour is Spider man? Of course it's red!’

‘It's red and blue?’ Feng He quipped, never taking his eyes off the road. 

‘Both of you are wrong! It's white!’

A cold silence breezed past. 

The boys groaned. 

Meng Meng broke out in giggles. 

‘That was so cold.’ ‘That was absolutely awful.’

Both boys commented at the same time.

Nevertheless it lifted the atmosphere in the gloomy car as three of them bickered and laughed over lame jokes and tongue twisters. 

\---

‘Bye bye! See you tomorrow!’

The two boys waved back. 

On the way home, Cheng Qing began singing to the radio. 

‘Darling, from the day when I loved you

Everything became as sweet as honey

Darling, don’t let your gaze wander

Feng Feng, just say, ‘I do’...’

Nothing could stop that creeping warmth up Feng He's chest. Cheng Qing had a really smooth, velvety voice that was really seductive. It was doing funny things to his stomach; as though a band keeps tightening around his middle. He wished he had worn a higher collared jacket to sink his entire head into. 

Still on the beat, Cheng Qing continued: 

‘Darling, why are you so quiet (qing ai de Wei shen me ni hen an jing) 

Please just say a word (Qing ni shuo yi ju hua) 

Don't let my heart become nervous.’ (bie rang wo xin bian jin jang) 

‘Nervous, your head!’ fumed Feng He to himself. 

Cheng Qing smiled, resting his hand on top of Feng He's lap. He was content. 

Only the car bore witness to how both boys smiled dopily when Feng He's hand twined with Cheng Qing’s to lace their fingers together. 

\---

‘Wo de tian, Cheng Qing!’ laughed Feng He shoving Cheng Qing playfully. 

Cheng Qing was still singing in a low voice when they were in the lift, all the while trying to capture Feng He's constantly averting gaze. His beloved is so cute trying so hard not to be shy. 

Humming, Cheng Qing backed Feng He against the wall once they got into the apartment. 

 

‘What are you doing…’ uttered Feng He, eyes darting as he held on onto Cheng Qing’s shoulders. 

 

Cheng Qing pouted, sliding his hands to Feng He's waist. ‘Giving. You. A. Kiss,’ said Cheng Qing, punctuating each word with a shake of his head as he inched closer and closer to Feng He. 

 

Feng He's lips tingled as Cheng Qing pressed his lips softly against his. It was so wonderfully sweet and as the arms around him tightened, the surroundings seem to ebb and fade until all he could focus on was just Cheng Qing. The slight chill of his outdoor coat, the insistent press on his lips, the warm protective hands which have slipped underneath his coat onto his sweater. A slightly mad thought went through his mind.  _ What if Cheng Qing’s touch was so hot that my clothes caught fire?  _ However he didn't get to continue that train of thought as Cheng Qing gave a sudden insistent press on his lips, causing him to gasp. 

 

Chasing that gasp, Cheng Qing took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Feng He tasted like a strange juxtaposition of cold winter and warm milk tea that he drank earlier. The way Feng He clutched the back of his shoulders - pulling him in closer until their chests met in a bundle of warmth, nurturing it together till sparks flew - was an absolutely potent addictive feeling. He parted the kiss, silently gulping in air. However he couldn't resist the unguarded look in Feng He's eyes as they slowly opened; causing him to lean in to steal a few more pecks.  _ ‘Perhaps that's enough for now,’  _ he thought, pulling away before things get any more heated. 

 

Unexpectedly, Cheng Qing felt himself being pulled forwards. His beloved - looking absolutely ravishing with those reddened lips and cheeks - looked so cute when he's surprised. 

 

‘Bao bei, is it not enough?’ smirked Cheng Qing, leaning in to give a few more kisses along Feng He's jaw, smiling even further when he felt his beloved panting a little harsher. 

 

_ ‘How is this even possible?’  _ thought Feng He, struggling to control his breath. It was scary how his skin seemed to sing for Cheng Qing, desiring those hands on his sweater to just  _ slip  _ under to caress his bare skin. 

 

Cheng Qing brushed his lips against his beloved’s forehead. He probably shouldn't take it too far yet. Feng He has to be certain of what he wants first. ‘Bao bei, let's go sleep,’ he said, hugging him tighter. 

 

Feng He felt both a sense of relief and disappointment. 

 

\-----


	5. Chapter 5

It was on one lazy morning when Cheng Qing asked:

‘Hey, are you free this Saturday? Want to go out?’

Feng He mulled it over. He had nothing to do anyway.

‘Sure! Do you have some place in mind?’’

‘I got… tickets and reservations to see that live band you've always wanted!’ said Cheng Qing magically brandishing two pieces of paper in his hand. 

There was a brief pause as Feng He's eyes widened before he hugged Cheng Qing mumbling, ‘Thank you. ’

If happiness for each person could be contained in a bowl, Cheng Qing’s has spilt over. Ruffling Feng He's hair, Cheng Qing teased, ‘What's that? I didn't hear it!’

His beloved stilled. Then, mumbling into Cheng Qing’s chest, Feng He rewarded him with a slap on his chest. 

‘Ouch! That's painful, ok!’ exclaimed Cheng Qing. ‘See, I now have your palm mark. What will I say if I have to appear shirtless for a photoshoot?’

‘That you got punishment for being an ass.’

\---

Saturday happened in the blink of an eye. 

‘I can't believe you actually got reservations here! Especially on Christmas day too!’ said a wide-eyed Feng He excitedly over the din of the dim bar. 

Cheng Qing smiled - pleased with himself. Thanks to his connections, they managed to get a nice cosy nook to themselves. Shaded lamps all around created soft warm glows and decorated with twinkling fairy lights, created an intimate atmosphere. In all honesty, this sort of scene isn't really Cheng Qing’s cup of tea. He thought it a little dull and he would rather have a loud raucous party with a group of friends. But when the lights shone at just the right angle, showing Feng He's rapture with the area, it was all worth it. He wanted to kiss him. 

The air rang with joyous chatter that swelled with the passing of time. Occasionally, it was accented with sleigh bells which added to the festive mood. 

He was pretty much surprised when Feng He got an absinthe martini. 

‘Just because I study, doesn't mean I don't drink,’ said Feng He with a wink at Cheng Qing’s raised eyebrows. 

‘Truly it is as they say, it's always the studious ones…’ thought Cheng Qing. 

Cheng Qing felt that he had to give credit to the band. After a while, with the aid of half a mojito, he began to relax, enjoying the jazzy sounds of the saxophone crooning soothing Christmas tunes to the audience. 

\----

Cheng Qing couldn't remember half of what they chatted in the bar. He just remembered his longing to hold Feng He's hand or to even be affectionate but he had to restrain himself. Being in the public meant cameras and cameras meant his every little move can end up viral on the Internet. 

After the band finished playing and Christmas greetings went all around, all he could remember was whispering into Feng He's ear, ‘Let's go back. I want to eat our Christmas cake.’ He couldn't resist giving a little accidental lick as he said it. The way his beloved twitched a little was cute anyway. 

\-----

 

‘What! How could you have the 2 hidden!’ groaned Feng He, laying down his cards as Cheng Qing grinned, wriggling his empty fingers before eating another mouthful of cake.

‘Give up, you're no match for me,’ said Cheng Qing, taking the couple of NT$100s. 

‘No way, I can beat you in the next round. I know I can!’ uttered Feng He, slurring his words ever so slightly. The martini must have had a higher percentage of alcohol than usual and he felt a little intoxicated. 

‘Oh yeah? What about…’ Cheng Qing trailed off for a moment, wondering what could be gambled next. ‘What about… kisses… if you lose you’ll kiss me wherever I want, alright?

Feng He slumped his head, silent for a moment. Cheng Qing felt a slight panic, wondering if that question broke his lover. 

All of a sudden, Feng He raised his head. 

‘Fine. And if you lose? What will you do?’

‘I'll do… anything you ask me to!’ said Cheng Qing in relief. 

‘Hm… OK, deal.’

\-----

‘What the hell… How are you so lucky?’ exclaimed Feng He, losing for the fourth time in a row.

‘I'm blessed by the Gambling God, what can I say?’ said Cheng Qing, leaning forwards in a teasing manner. 

‘One more round !’ 

\----

‘I can't believe it…’ said Feng He, looking at the 6 cards remaining in his hand. ‘I wanted to use a combo!’ 

‘You owe me eight now, bao bei…’ said Cheng Qing, caressing Feng He's knee before inching his hand ever so slightly up. 

The both of them were cross-legged on the floor, leaning against the sofa, facing each other. Their outerwear had long been shrugged off and replaced with house clothes hastily as the cloak of alcohol had warmed them quite a bit. 

In Cheng Qing’s eyes, he could only think about how cute Feng He looked as he blinked in a confused manner. 

‘Ah, how am I supposed to stop myself…’ thought Cheng Qing. ‘I want to kiss him!’ 

He moved closer to Feng He. 

‘Can I claim them now?’ said Cheng Qing huskily next to Feng He's ear, pulling him closer. 

Feng He leant against Cheng Qing’s chest, burying himself in the crook of his lover's neck. The drinks lowered his inhibitions slightly and he just really wanted to hold Cheng Qing close. Cheng Qing gave him such a nice safe feeling and he didn't want to let go of the broad back he was feeling beneath his fingertips. He giggled a little, finding himself very happy all of a sudden. 

‘OK. Where?’ 

‘Here,’ said Cheng Qing, pointing to his forehead. 

Feng He straddled Cheng Qing, balancing himself on Feng He's shoulders to hoist himself up to kiss his forehead. 

‘And?’ 

Cheng Qing gulped. He didn't expect Feng He to be so forward. He was expecting more of a struggle. Nevertheless he was enjoying it. Placing his left hand on Feng He's waist, he pointed to his nose and cheeks. 

Feng He swiftly pecked them all. 

‘Where else?’ 

Cheng Qing gazed upon the flushed cheeks of his lover. ‘Ah, when there's wine, one must get drunk. I should just take a little advantage of this…’

‘Give the rest here,’ said Cheng Qing slyly, pointing to his lips. 

Feng He gave a brief coy smile, tilted his head slightly to the right and kissed Cheng Qing. Tilting his head to the left, he repeated each warm press of lips until all kisses were given. 

Cheng Qing could only stare in amazement as Feng He grinned at him and pressed another kiss on his jaw. 

‘That one's extra because you're handsome,’ laughed Feng He. Alcohol certainly makes one's tongue loose and Feng He couldn't resist teasing his boyfriend. ‘Ha, does he think he's the only one who can initiate kisses? I'm a man, of course I can too!’

‘Ah, fuck, does he know what he’s doing?’ Cheng Qing could sense the all too familiar tightening of the hips and desire was rippling through his veins. It was as though Feng He had thrown a rock into the pool of desire Cheng Qing had for his beloved when he straddled him and now, he was helpless to stop the aftereffects.

‘Bao bei, don’t start something that can make me lose control,’ warned Cheng Qing. ‘I love you, and I desire you. But right now, I don’t think I have the control to stop myself from ravishing you if you keep this up,’ continued Cheng Qing, gripping Feng He's waist firmly. 

Feng He gazed at Cheng Qing. We've kissed. We even sleep together. What's wrong if we kiss a little more? 

‘What's wrong if we are more intimate?’ said Feng He. Despite it being an innocent enough question, he couldn't look Cheng Qing in the eyes for whatever reason. 

‘Because of this,’ Cheng Qing growled in frustration, giving a slight thrust of his hips. He highly doubted that Feng He’s meaning of ‘intimacy’ was on the same page as his. It’s been so long but they have yet to go beyond that interrupted night they had before they met their parents. Since then there were lots of hugs and kisses but well, Cheng Qing is mortal! It’s not as though he could control when his sexual desire starts.

‘Oh.’

That was all Feng He's conscience could utter. His brain felt a thin thread of clear realisation weave through the misty euphoria he was feeling. Before he could stop himself, he found himself saying, ‘Shall we… try?’

Cheng Qing couldn’t believe his ears. A surge of possessive lust gripped him. 

‘If we do… I can't guarantee that I would be able to control myself wholly… bao bei,’ growled Cheng Qing pulling Feng He closer. 

Now Feng He realised just why he felt a little awkward. 

Something hard was pushing against his bottom. 

Oh. 

He felt giddy with nervousness. He knew how gay men had sex, after all, sex education is a part of life… but to experience it in the flesh is a whole other matter. Yet, despite this anxiety, it's Cheng Qing, the person who came barrelling into his life, whom he learnt how to cohabit with; the one whom he shared secrets and dreams with, the one whom he fell in love with… Feng He realised he wanted it all. It felt natural to be this close with Cheng Qing, to hold him, to want Cheng Qing to hold him back. It was just an annex of their feelings. 

Gulping silently, he relaxed his tense back to settle on the lump on Cheng Qing’s lap. 

‘I… I trust you, Qing… Let's - do it but… can we just… N-Not go all the way at the moment?’ said Feng He, trying unsuccessfully to control his stammering while resting his arms on Cheng Qing’s shoulders. 

Cheng Qing let out a puff of surprise. That was enough confirmation for now.

Feng He clenched his fists in a bid to relax his tense muscles. Cheng Qing was still for too long and he was growing increasingly nervous. He steeled himself to press a kiss to Cheng Qing’s cheek which seemed to jolt him from his stupor to give Feng He a deep kiss. 

The sudden urgency made him lose his breath for a moment. His mind was filled with just the feel and scent of Cheng Qing and now, the sweet vanilla taste of Cheng Qing as his lips were pried open. Cheng Qing’s fingers were demanding, slipping underneath his thin sweater to thoroughly skim and brand his body. His shorts did nothing to diffuse the heat of the situation either. Through the thin material, the eroticism of the whole situation seems heightened. He knew the evidence of his lover's desire lies under these covers yet he was being denied it. He trailed a wandering hand down to skim the edge of Cheng Qing’s boxers but was stopped by his lover. 

‘Stand up,’ Cheng Qing whispered. He'll be damned if they were going to do more on the floor. It will be too uncomfortable. And his grip on his sanity was in danger of being gone if Feng He puts his hand in his boxers. 

Without warning, Feng He was hoisted smoothly onto Cheng Qing. In no time, his butt was cupped and neck attacked with open mouthed kisses. 

‘Let's go to the bed,’ smirked Cheng Qing, tightening his hold on his beloved. 

Feng He wanted to retort but words seems to escape him with this blazing desire that was thrumming through his body. In response instead, he gave a little nip on Cheng Qing’s neck which elicited a growl from him as he hastened to their bed. 

Once Feng He was placed gently on the bed, Cheng Qing wasted no time in getting revenge for that nip. Feng He gave a jolt as he felt Cheng Qing’s body weighing him down, moaning against the searing lips against him. Once again, those delicious fingers glided against his skin, lifting his sweater. Raising his arms in compliance, he helped Cheng Qing in shrugging out of it. Now the kisses trailed a heated path down before pausing. Feng He could only look on admiringly as Cheng Qing took off his t-shirt. ‘Those arms carried me,’ he thought, looking on at his lover's creamy white torso and muscular arms. 

‘Admiring me?’ said Cheng Qing cockily, arching an eyebrow. 

Feng He could feel a wave of heat flush upon his face. ‘You wish!’ he said, turning around in embarrassment. 

Cheng Qing crawled back on top of Feng He. ‘Bao bei, there's nothing to be embarrassed about…’ he murmured huskily into Feng He's ear. ‘You can always check me out… hug me… touch me… kiss me… whenever and whatever you wish… I'm all yours and yours alone…’

Feng He's ears were on fire. I know it's supposed to be cringey but why do I feel so heated? 

He couldn't continue that though because their bare chests met in a scorching heat. The temperature of the room seemed to rise. It was painstakingly slow, how Cheng Qing gave little loving pecks all over his face ending with a long, sweet one on his lips. As Cheng Qing’s fingers started encircling his nipples, pulling and tugging lightly, he couldn't help but moan into the kiss. He loves Cheng Qing. But now, he hungered for him. 

Wrapping his legs around Cheng Qing was both strange and relieving. There was just sweet, blessed pressure and friction. It was so hard to comprehend how Cheng Qing could make him feel this way, as though he summoned his blood to crash like the frantic motions of stormy waves. Ebbing and flowing, again and again, Feng He was helpless against the motions. All he could do was pant beside Cheng Qing’s ear, kissing and licking his beloved’s long, smooth neck. He revelled in the fact that Cheng Qing’s Adam's apple twitched when he did that. 

On the other hand, Cheng Qing was cursing in his head. He wanted to take it slow. But he was about to lose it to a trail of warm neck kisses. That must not happen! With a trace of a growl crawling up his throat, he grasped Feng He's waist firmly, slowly sliding his hands underneath the waistband. 

His fingers soon found the dimples in Feng He's back. ‘They're like little buttons…’ he mused to himself as he pressed them. As Feng He shivered and moaned slightly, he was filled with a sense of satisfaction. ‘Little turn-on buttons,’ he thought to himself gleefully. 

His hands wandered further down. 

A brief self-deprecating thought entered Feng He's mind. Has everything I've done been ok so far? Luckily he didn't manage to continue that thought. Cheng Qing found his nipples, sucking his left’s with such force that his back arched with the sudden pain-pleasure that engulfed him. Evidently, he learnt from their previous experience. 

‘Ah!’ 

He couldn't control how his hips bucked up, the feel of his cock sliding in those too thin pants against Cheng Qing’s abs. It was too much, too- 

With a cry, he came. 

Panting, he opened his eyes slowly to Cheng Qing who was staring at him in rapture from below. He was torn between bringing up his arms in a vain act of self-consciousness or stealing a kiss from Cheng Qing. He decided on the latter. 

‘Fuck, you're so hot,’ whispered Cheng Qing before plundering Feng He's mouth. He couldn't stand his desire any longer. In between kisses he murmured, ‘Feng feng, I'm so close… please touch me?’

Under normal circumstances, Feng He would have felt shy with that nickname. However he could never say no to his beloved. As he grasped his lover's cock and began pumping as he would himself, it didn't take long for Cheng Qing’s seed to spill all over his hand. 

\---

Both of them were panting as they cleaned each other up sloppily with tissues. Laughing and smiling as they did so, they both knew they had both entered a path where there was no turning back. 

‘I love you,’ said Cheng Qing in a reverent whisper. 

‘I love you too,’ said Feng He . 

Feng He then pressed a kiss to Cheng Qing’s lips and Cheng Qing did likewise before both of them hugged each other and drifted off to sleep. 

\-----


	6. Chapter 6

Since that day, Feng He couldn't help but feel more conscious of Cheng Qing’s presence. It didn't help either that Cheng Qing really enjoyed touching him. He didn't think it was a bad thing, in fact he quite enjoyed it. But it always happened at the most inconvenient times! 

 

Like right now, for example. 

 

Feng He was hunched over the sink, using a toothbrush to clean every nook and cranny of his fish's homes free from any algae. If he didn't do a good job at it the algae will multiply quickly and that is a pain. But right now, he has a lump of algae called Cheng Qing growing on his back. 

 

‘Bao bao…’ hummed Cheng Qing into Feng He's nape as he held him tight. 

 

He wouldn't have minded it but:

 

  1. He can't move his arms. 
  2. Cheng Qing is swaying, making him sway as well. 
  3. Water is splashing everywhere. 
  4. He'll never finish cleaning the tank. 



 

He tried squirming out of Cheng Qing’s hold. However Cheng Qing only held on tighter, pulling him back. 

 

‘Cheng Qing! I need to clean this!’ he yelped, but the dirty water in the sink was already splashing all over his front. Irritation boiled in Feng He. 

 

‘That's it! You're banned from touching me while I'm working! Get out!’ said Feng He angrily, shoving a protesting, pouting Cheng Qing out of the bathroom. 

 

_ ‘Finally, peace!’ _ groused Feng He. Looking at the splotch of stinky water on his front, he sighed. 

  
  


\-----

 

‘Bao bao, if you were going to a place where there's no one and you can't even bring a phone. And you had a choice of bringing a survival kit or me, which would you pick?’

 

Cheng Qing’s question took Feng He by surprise. He paused his onion chopping. 

 

‘Is this some sort of trick question.’

 

‘Mm, no… Was just mentioning the first thing in my mind.’

 

‘What sort of question is that? Your mind is a strange place. Hey, help me chop the carrots - or the curry won't be done in time.’

 

Cheng Qing’s mouth curved downwards. ‘Are you changing the topic?’ 

 

‘Shit, he noticed,’ thought Feng He to himself. Feng He also thought that he should have found it cute but instead, he could feel a mildly alarming twang in his heart. He knew that be would have to do something to placate his boyfriend. He did, after all, sort of chased him out earlier and he was slightly sorry for that. 

 

‘Well… I guess… A survival kit?’

 

‘Wha-’ 

 

‘Shh, listen. You didn't specify how long so it probably isn't forever and I know that at least you'd be waiting for me so I will have the incentive to come back,’ rushed Feng He. 

 

Feng He continued his onion chopping nonchalantly, unaware of a pair of slightly glazed eyes. 

 

‘Why are you so near - it's dangerous! - I’m holding a knife!’ exclaimed Feng He. 

 

‘I forgot how to cut the carrots. Show me again?’ 

 

\---

 

‘So you use a rolling cut; just roll and cut at an angle. The degree doesn't matter but just try to make it roughly the same size,’ demonstrated Feng He.

 

‘Like this?’ replied Cheng Qing with a carrot massacre under his hands. 

 

‘Yeah...perhaps…’ said Feng He. He swore he could feel a few drops of cold sweat trickling down the side of his face. If he had an emoji for his face right now it’d be the ‘sweat’ one. ‘Why don’t you uh, go marinate the meat?’ He had to save those carrots! Or they'll just have curry with carrot garnish! And they weren't even the same size! 

 

‘But I want to learn,’ pouted Cheng Qing.

 

Feng He closed his eyes in exasperation. Sometimes he can't believe how childish Cheng Qing was at times. 

 

Standing beside Cheng Qing, he demonstrated how to roll cut the carrots again.

 

‘Like this?’ asked Cheng Qing.

 

Feng He’s eyes widened when he saw what Cheng Qing was about to do.

 

‘Ah! Your fingers! STOP!’

 

Feng He rescued Cheng Qing’s fingers just before they were going to be sliced off by the knife.  _ ‘How the hell can anyone mess up a roll cut?’  _ he wondered.

 

‘Here, like this,’ said Feng He gently, circling his right arm behind Cheng Qing, guiding him to do a proper roll cut with his fingers on top of Cheng Qing’s.

 

If Feng He had looked at Cheng Qing, he would have stabbed him when he saw the smug grin on his face.

 

\------------------------

 

‘Mom called.’

 

‘Oh?’ said Cheng Qing as he walked out of the shower, rubbing his towel through his freshly washed hair. 

 

‘She said they'll be back about 3 days before Chinese New year to celebrate with us. We’re going to visit both sides this year,’ said Feng He without glancing up from his notes. 

 

‘Oh ok,’ said Cheng Qing. 

 

Leaning against the table, he glanced at his lover affectionately. One glance at him told Cheng Qing that Feng He was worried. The brows that knitted together seemed to create even deeper furrows than normal. 

 

He reached out to smooth his thumb over his beloved’s brow. 

 

‘You'll get wrinkles.’

 

‘I'm not a girl, why should I care?’ said Feng He. But it didn't stop him from resting the side of his head against Cheng Qing. 

 

Cheng Qing squeezed Feng He’s shoulders lightly, giving gentle caresses. They stayed that way for a while; Cheng Qing enjoying how relaxed Feng He became whenever he held him close. He was glad to be able to do that. Though he sometimes wishes that Feng He would share his worries with him. 

 

‘What are you thinking about? 

 

‘Mm, nothing.’

 

That was a lie though. Chinese New year. Close quarters. Nosy relatives. Aunts, uncles, cousins! All bound to ask their status. They could lie, sure… but that thought filled him with uncertainty. It just seemed to hammer in the status that they were, in all legality, a family. 

 

‘Are you thinking about ke poh* relatives?’ guessed Cheng Qing. 

 

Feng He felt strangely embarrassed.  _ Was he that easy to read?  _ He wondered. 

 

‘Don't worry, we'll get through it. It's only a few days! What could possibly happen?’ said Cheng Qing reassuringly, caressing Feng He's shoulders. 

 

Feng He wrapped his arms around Cheng Qing’s waist in reply; Cheng Qing’s warmth a steady reassurance to his worries. 

 

\------

 

‘You done, Cheng Qing?’ asked Feng He without looking up from his phone on the bed. This game was really far too interesting for him. 

 

Cheng Qing crept up to him, nuzzling into his neck. He loved smelling his cologne on his beloved. Makes him feel like… His beloved is marked, somehow. ‘What do you think…’ he murmured, kissing his neck.

 

‘Qing… We got to go! This is the first time I’m going to your dad’s side of the family. I need to make a good impression!’ said Feng He, pushing Cheng Qing away half-heartedly. They were due to visit Cheng Qing’s entire family this first day of Chinese New Year which made Feng He nervous. After all, he and his mother are new to the family. And not to mention, their parents did kind of have a runaway marriage.

 

‘Meh, Ah Kong and Ah Ma aren’t going anywhere. And besides, Dad and Mom asked us to meet at 10. 30 am, wasn’t it? It’s only 8.45…’ said Cheng Qing, nuzzling further into Feng He’s shoulder. ‘Plus, Taipei is always quiet today.’

 

_ ‘That’s true…’ _ thought Feng He reluctantly. ‘Wait did you say 10.30? It's 10!’

 

‘Ah, you worry wart. 5 minutes won't hurt. I… can't exactly do anything later so let me have my fill of you,’ muffled out Cheng Qing. He was reluctant to let his beloved go. Sure it's only one day that he has to put up with this farce but one day is a long time! 

 

Feng He bit his lip, hugging Cheng Qing. 

 

\-----

 

‘ _ Xīn nián kuài lè _ , Dad, Mom!’ greeted the two of them heartily when they met their parents.

 

‘ _ Shēn tǐ jiàn kāng _ !’

 

_ ‘ _ _ Shēng yì xīng lóng!’ _

 

_ ‘Bù bù gāo shēng!’ * _

Said Cheng Qing and Feng He one after the other.

 

‘Ah, your mouths are so sweet today, boys,’ beamed their Mom, looking resplendent in her beaded scarlet dress. 

 

‘ Suì suì píng ān, both of you,’ said their Dad. ‘Here,  _ hong bao  _ for the both of you.’ *

 

‘Thank you!’

 

‘Oh yeah, Feng He, leave your car in the visitor bay, we’ll just use my car today,’ said their Dad.

 

‘Ok.’

 

\------------

 

‘ _ Xīn nián kuài lè _ , Ah Kong, ah Ma! Sin tey gian kong!’ * beamed Cheng Qing winningly at his grandparents. He liked to believe that he was their favourite grandchild since they've always spoilt him rotten when he was young. 

 

‘Ye ye, sin ni ju yi,’ * said Feng He, clasping both his hands respectfully. 

 

‘Guai, guai,’ smiled his grandparents. ‘Here's a hong bao for you,’ said their grandfather, a tall, thin man with bushy eyebrows that gave him a sage-like appearance. 

 

‘Ah He, right? Your mom has told us so much about you,’ said Ah Kong kindly. ‘Don't have to be so polite! Just call me Ah Kong like Cheng Qing!’

 

‘Y-yes, Ah Kong,’ stuttered Feng He. 

 

Cheng Qing’s pat on his shoulder eased him somewhat. 

 

\---

 

‘Come, let's light up the firecrackers!’

 

As the place was enveloped in a thick cloud of smoke and noise, Feng He's sight was only filled with Cheng Qing beaming in happiness against a background of white and red paper snow. 

 

\---

 

‘Ah Qing! Come here! Introduce to me your brother!’ 

 

Cheng Qing and Feng He were kept busy, shuffling about from aunt to aunt and from uncle to uncle to chat with. The whole place was a merry nest of noise with clacking mahjong tables, laughing toddlers running here and there and teenagers gambling with cards. 

 

_ ‘Wow, you sure are a handsome boy! Take good care of Qing here, ok?’ _

 

_ ‘Eh, Qing, why don't you take him with you to be an idol? He's got the looks.’ _

 

_ ‘Aiya, both of you, you're so handsome and well-mannered…’ _

 

_ ‘Qing must really have been a bother to take care of… Thank you, Ah He!’ _

 

All these and it's variations were repeated one after another as Feng He and Cheng Qing patiently answered them all. Finally they were rescued by one of Cheng Qing’s cousins.

 

‘Oi Cheng Qing  _ tang ge _ , * come, let's play Blackjack! Let's see if you can keep your hong baos!’ said a gangly bespectacled youth hooking an arm around Cheng Qing. 

 

‘Ah, alright! Eh, let me introduce you. This is Feng He, my  _ ge ge _ . Feng He, this is Jia Ming, his dad is my dad's younger brother. And that girl there,’ said Cheng Qing, gesturing to a teenage girl in purple and white chiffon who was waving at them, ‘Is his younger sister, Jia Wei. I used to play with them when we were younger.’ Cheng Qing introduced the rest of the relatives as well to Feng He as they mushed themselves into the circle of people. 

 

Cheng Qing sat beside Jia Wei. He always had a soft spot for her. With his dad away for business's trips most of the time, he, Jia Ming and Jia Wei often hung out together in high school as he would often stay at their house. Of course back then she was in primary school. They kind of drifted apart a little after he moved into his own place.

 

\---

 

‘Curiously asking, Feng He ge… ’ began Jia Wei, collecting the cards to stack them as it was lunch time. ‘How did you and Qing  _ ge ge _ become close so fast?’

 

Feng He thought it was lucky that it was only the three of them right now. Cheng Qing had went to the toilet earlier and was roped in to help in setting the table. 

 

‘Oi, Jia Wei… Don’t be rude,’ rebuked her brother.

 

She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Ge, it’s just an innocent enough question. Qing ge ge doesn’t get close to people easily and he can be such a prince at times. So… how?’ she said, turning to Feng He with a smile.

 

‘Jia Wei! Let's go for lunch,’ said Jia Ming firmly. ‘Just ignore her,’ he said to Feng He, pushing his protesting sister to the dining table.’

 

Feng He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 

\----

 

After dinner with their parents, both of them headed home from their parents new house. 

 

‘Man, today was really… filling. I think  _ gu gu  _ outdid herself today with the food. Plus only during this time I’d pig out on the dried meat,’ burped Cheng Qing as they walked to the lift.

 

‘Eat so much and one day you’d turn into a pig yourself. See if your fans will still like you then,’ replied Feng He, humorously jabbing his boyfriend in the ribs.

 

‘Ow!’ exclaimed Cheng Qing dramatically, clutching his side. ‘Is this the way you treat the one you love?’ he said with a pout.

 

‘Oi! Shh! People can hear!’ said Feng He, covering Cheng Qing’s mouth.

 

‘I’m sure the paparazzi are on holiday too,’ muffled out Cheng Qing beneath his fingers. All of a sudden, Cheng Qing got an idea.

 

He licked Feng He’s fingers.

 

‘OI! Eww… what are you doing?’ said Feng He, wiping his fingers on Cheng Qing’s jacket.

  
Cheng Qing stuck out his tongue at Feng He.

 

\---

 

‘Bao bei… you’ve already met my side of the family… do you want to tell them we’re together?’ said Cheng Qing, snuggling up to Feng He on the bed. 

 

Feng He's heart lurched. 

 

‘Don't.. Don't joke around,’ said Feng He quietly, tightening his arms around Cheng Qing. He couldn't understand it. He had accepted being with Cheng Qing. Wasn't that all the courage he needed? Yet why is it - that the idea of telling their family scares him so? _ Does Cheng Qing want to tell his family?  _

 

Cheng Qing realised that Feng He's fingers were shaking and gripping him a little too tight. He cupped Feng He's face. 

 

‘Bao bei, I'm just kidding. I've said it before. Our relationship is only between us. No one needs to know, ok? I'm sorry for bringing it up,’ said Cheng Qing softly, stroking Feng He's cheeks. He didn't mean to cause his lover distress. 

 

Feng He held on tight to Cheng Qing. There was a strange sense of foreboding within him and he didn’t know how to address it. Perhaps he was just being too dramatic. Maybe he was just being too worried over meeting both sides of the family. Maybe- Feng He cut off his thoughts. It wouldn't do. He concentrated on the steady fingers brushing his cheeks, letting the movements calm him. 

 

\---

 


	7. Chapter 7

Cheng Qing decided he hated Jun Xian. 

 

Within minutes of entering the house, this bloody so-called  _ cousin _ draped himself all over Feng He. Is it really necessary to put his arm around Feng He all the time? Is it necessary for him to be so tall? (Granted, he is taller... But. Still.) Is it necessary for his arms to be so muscular and his face to be so hand- ugly? 

 

He seethed, cracking groundnuts viciously while watching the two of them stick side by side as Jun Xian was showing Feng He his basketball games. This bugger is also the captain of his university's basketball game and their team is on a winning streak across the county. The moment Feng He introduced him to Jun Xian, Jun Xian practically stole Feng He away.

 

As Jun Xian slung his arm around Feng He, he nearly wanted to stand up when he saw Jun Xian using his other hand to muss Feng He's hair.  _ Only he gets to do that! _ It didn't help either to know that Jun Xian is Feng He's mother's cousin's husband's brother's son. Fuck, that's a mouthful. Meaning that, in truth, they are so distantly related they might as well not be related. So it's anything but familial affection! 

 

Cheng Qing gritted his teeth in annoyance.  _ This will not do. Its Chinese New year and it’s not good to be angry.  _

 

Why does he have to be so…  _ smiley _ ?

 

\----

 

‘Oh, Cheng Qing! How’s your new show with Song Bo Wei coming along? It's raved quite a bit among my schoolmates. They seem to have a crush on him,’ asked Jun Xian. 

 

The atmosphere was bustling with the sound of old aunties telling them to eat more. 

 

‘It’s going well. Yeah, he’s a popular guy especially when he plays the guitar. Can’t reveal anything yet though,’ said Cheng Qing, stuffing his face while trying to be polite.

 

Feng He sensed that something was off with Cheng Qing and Jun Xian. His cousin’s smile seemed a bit forced this time round.  _ ‘Do they dislike each other or something?’  _ he thought.

 

He froze when he felt toes brush against his foot. C _ heng Qing is too shameless!  _ He thought as an ankle came to curl around his. He tried kicking it off but he couldn’t; looking up only to see Cheng Qing coolly sip his soup. 

 

_ Why. This idiot will be the death of me. _

 

He pinched Cheng Qing’s thigh in exasperation, feeling a little triumphant when Cheng Qing choked a little on his rice.

 

\---

 

‘Whatever was that for?’ he hissed to Cheng Qing as they left the place. 

 

‘What's what?’ said Cheng Qing, feigning ignorance.

 

‘That…  _ that leg thing!’ _

 

‘To remind you that your man is still beside you,’ remarked Cheng Qing offhandedly. 

 

‘... Are you… jealous of Jun Xian?’ 

 

Cheng Qing didn’t reply, finding the blinking lights of Taipei more interesting instead.

 

Their walk back was silent.

 

\---

 

Cheng Qing attacked Feng He with a back hug the moment the latter took off his coat.

 

Feng He was almost sure in his suspicion that Jun Xian was the cause. 

 

‘Say it. What’s up?’

 

Cheng Qing held Feng He tighter. 

 

‘You love me right?’ asked Cheng Qing leaning further on Feng He. 

 

Feng He patted his boyfriend's arms patiently. ‘I do,’ he said, leaning back onto Cheng Qing’s shoulder. His beloved is a really spoilt brat today but… still incredibly cute. He decided to indulge him. ‘Wo ai ni, bao bei.’ 

 

Feng He could have sworn he saw a swishing tail behind Cheng Qing who was smiling so happily. Well. Who was he to resist? He turned around to give Cheng Qing a peck on the lips.

 

‘Let’s get ready for bed?’

 

\----

  
  



End file.
